PROBLEMS WITH LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

long-distance-relationship

ABSENCE  You can’t see them when you want to. I know there’s Skype, I know there are Blackberry phones that can be used for video calls but tell me, honestly, is it the same? NO!  Staying up late talking on the phone for long hours annoy me now sef. It's worse when we are in two different time zones; my morning is his night and my evening is his early in the morning and someone has to sacrifice their sleep sometimes.You have to schedule calls, and then it’s limited and sometimes expensive which is my next point exactly!

EXPENSIVE STUFF: LDR’s are not cheap, especially in Nigeria. Why is that? You think say to buy credit cheap? Internet for Skype gan is not cheap so I have almost given up on using Skype.  Even when there’s money to use the Skype, network will be so bad that I just give up from frustration. These days we just restrict ourselves to phone calls, bbm messages and leave it there. You have to spend money planning visits: flight tickets are not cheap even bus ticket sef nor cheap. LDR is expensive!

CONFUSION: Well this is typical. Since you cannot "See" the person you don't know if they are fine when they say they are, you cannot read their facial expression, it is hard to be a mind reader and an emotion detector. For someone like me that likes to frown when I'm vexing, Bobo cannot see it. There's also mis-communication, sometimes you ring your partners number and the network will tell you it does not exist or switched off, imagine the kain fight una go fight when you call and someone of the opposite sex says "hi"..those network errors happen too. *heart attack!

FIGHTING SUCKS: Fighting is not fun and then you fight for no reason. When I quarrel with someone I like to look at them face-to-face and fight it out! Doing it over the phone is just wrong! Writing so fast in CAPS does not have the same effect as the real thing (lol, i'm not a trouble maker). Sometimes they hang up  in the middle of your yelling and you are left staring at your phone and talking to your self like krase pesin.

MAKING UP SUCKS! How about making up?  In relationships where you get to see and hold and do all those things that your parents told you leads to carrying of belle, fighting is much more fun. After fighting, you make up, with hugs, kisses and whatever it is you fancy. Maybe you go out and have a romantic dinner of suya and fanta, but in a Long Distance Relationship, OYO l'owa! You fight and make up on the phone, o tan!#SufferheadLife.

LITTLE THINGS: Relationships are for relating. Doing special or just normal everyday things as a couple makes life much more fun. It’s little things like “Bobo please bring kuli-kuli on your way back home, or help me rub my back e be like say I dey feel pains", "Sisi please make that your vegetable soup for me" that matter in life right? Right! I actually feel deprived and it is my own doing.

INSECURITIES: Since trust is major in LDR’s you can understand that there will be a certain level of paranoia, what if they are not true to you? What if?  e.g. *Phone conversation: “You said you were at home, but why is that place not sounding like your house, I know the way your house sounds, where are you????”. It doesn't end there, people tend to ask why, why him? why her? why not end it? why? why? why? se o worth e? Ibere! They remind you that you can’t see the other person and that means they could be cheating on you, sigh. And they give you examples of their sisters friends cousin that it happened to! Kini?! We in LDR’s have enough problems already without others trying to feed our paranoia. Stop eeet!

BYE: Saying Bye sucks, especially not knowing when you will see them again. All those long annoying trips to the airport, train station , motor park- however it is they leave sha - always very heartbreaking. There was a time I used to wail at the airport whenever Bobo was leaving but now I'm a big babe and I do big babe things, I wait till I get home and then let the waterfalls loose!

AFTER BYE: Well, there’s that sinking feeling you get after spending time with each other and you’re apart. I feel morose for a few days and then it is back to life as usual (texting, skyping, calling) which sucks. I try to get used to turning off the generator by myself, killing mosquito's by myself and changing light bulbs by myself... *singing, lonely, i am so lonely, i have no...

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