My dear, if you've heard this then I will assume you're probably of marriageable age in Nigeria which I would approximate to be between 23 -30 years. Someone asked me, "Why Are You Not Married At Your Age?... People have no chill I tell you. There is no question they won't ask you. "You know age is not on your side..." "hmmm a girl is like a flower...withers quickly"... "Do you want to use your retirement to train children"... you've heard these abi?
These days people don't marry early anymore and who can blame us? Ehn? Most of the older generation got married early, by 25 some of our mothers have given birth to their "last born" ...na lie? But nowadays...more people are are getting married in their 30's. Why do you think this is happening? Here's my own opinion:
1. THE ONE: Of course you cannot marry yourself and we all want to find that PERFECT somebody that was made just for us! No time for mediocrity relationships...if the person cannot make toes curl and hearts flip then ...errrm no. Also, the time of arranged marriages is sooooo over and we want to make the decision ourselves, so yeah...we will wait till 50 sef to find that perfect person that meets all our standards unless we decide to of course...ahem..."settle down."
2. ACQUIRING DEGREES: If you don't have a masters degree then you never read book finish (in 9ja oh)...By the time you finish secondary school, 4 year university degree, sometimes 5 to 8 years sef if you attended public schools with their frequent strikes...your bia bia go don white. To even enter University sometimes na wahala, JAMB jammed me like 2 times before I jejely went to a private Uni. That's 2 years gone. Education takes time but some people will argue that you can be married and still go to school...biko, tell me...how many parents want to sponsor their married kids to school?
3. BUILDING CAREERS: Its one thing to go to school, it's another one to find a job or build a career. We need to make up for all those twenty something or thirty something years of education. It cannot waste! So we start our careers, and sometimes we want to FOCUS on these careers to be successful, there asre some jobs that are so demanding and by the time we're ready for marriage time don dey nack 30's O Clock. Oooops!
4. PAPER CHASING: Yes ke, money is very important and we know that nor be love we go chop for breakfast if we marry without a job or any kind of financial capabilities. It's hard to live on love in this economy, there's rent to pay, there's fuel for generator, there's transportation, there's phone bills...orisisirisi to pay, you've got to chase paper! Some guys have made up their mind not to get married until they start earning a particular amount of money, some want to build house first or at least own a car. Different strokes for different folks.
5. FREE GOODIES: They say why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free abi? It's common these days that people engage in premarital sex because they are independent 21st century westernized folks, and because body nor be firewood. In those days I guess you have to marry the babe before you get the goodies. There were also a lot of shotgun marriages; if you give am belle, you musto marry am. Not so now: you give am belle does not guarantee marriage, hence the babymama's and babydaddy trend. I actually think if people abstain, they would get married quicker. Forget chasing paper, forget, building careers. Let us just marry.
6. MENTAL PREPARATION: Yup...some people are simply not ready to get married. They still want to "discover themselves"...they want to experience life as a single person before you know...getting married. They want to travel, they want to live alone, have no cares in the world...tell this to your parents if they won't take you for deliverance.
I know these are not all the reasons but they pretty much sum it up. Tell me, why are you not married AT YOUR AGE?