Kidnapping your bride

Kidnapping your bride


Sudanese Latuka tribe

‘In the Sudanese Latuka tribe, when a man wants to marry a woman, he kidnaps her. Elderly members of his family go and ask the girl’s father for her hand in marriage, and if he agrees, the father beats the man as a sign of his acceptance of the union. If the father disagrees, however, the man might forcefully marry the girl anyway.’

This is basics of one of the traditions that the tribe follow. I think looking at it in its full form can appear to be quite strange but I would rather dissect it to really give an opinion on it.

So firstly, if a man see’s a girl who he finds attractive and realises he wants t marry her. the way that he proposes is by kidnapping. This is a major contrast to the man bending down on one knee with the ring, but I guess the guy is claiming what he wants. Though this may be all good on the man’s side, because he see’s what he wants and he picks it up and takes it home. This is disturbing on a female part simply because there seems to be no consent or element of choice for the female. She is taken against her free will without have a choice at whether that is the man she wants to marry.  This just magnifies the idea that women are seen as possessions and their wants and needs are not significant in some cultures.

The part that I  do like about this tradition which is seen in most traditions is the family members going to the father of the girl and asking him for his daughters hand in marriage. This to me is one of the most genuine and romantic traditions seen in many cultures. It shows respect in the highest form.  Because marriage is taking the daughter away from her home and making her form a new life in husbands world. It takes the woman and changes her identity through the last name as now being part of the man’s family. Therefore taking her away. Therefore its asking permission and reassuring them that the daughter will be taken care of.

However If the father disagrees to his daughter being married to someone he does not approve of, this is where it all gets messy. Remembering that the daughter has already been kidnapped this now means that they could just keep her regardless of the father’s refusal. and this is very sad to see. That a daughter can be kidnapped and married off without the approval of her family. This brings us back to the sad and horrific part of some tribes where there is lack of equality or system to protect individual lives.

Overall I don’t see this as a positive tradition because the woman has no say and being kidnapped is beyond unromantic. I guess from everything you see and read you can conclude a comparison with how you live and others live.  The way marriage has been presented through general walks of life is through the foundation of love. love being mutual and both people agreeing to be together not forced.

Though this is just one side of the story, I would be interested in hearing the opinions of those women in that tribe and how things really work and how they really feel about it.

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